Dinner at mine on Friday

On Friday I should be having my first Rabble community dinner. It's a simple idea, bring some food, help cook and help wash up, I belive  this could really help dinner time blues in lots of households.

Anarchy needs rules as I've shouted on many summer days by Heavitree paddling pool, if you host a dinner it's your house but here are my house rules.

1 Play fair, bring what food you can and share it out.

2 More people means more people to cook and wash up, less effort for everyone, the kids need to share the load too.

3 Turn off the screens for a while, get the kids busy and they might not bother with them for hours.

4 My house is Straight Edge, no drugs legal or illegal.

5 Safety first, pick people you know or meet a few times first.

6 If you don't know people very well put valuables and keys upstairs.

7 Mix it up, dinner is lonely for lots of people, if you have a big family ask a singleton or elderly neighbour.

8 Tell us about it and send pictures and recipes.  

9 Keep it simple, this is about fun not showing off, if you are a good cook share skills.

10 Enjoy.

Charity is the new double glazing

Everyone has met one, a young, strangely dressed over enthusiastic person asking for cash for a worthy charity. these people up everywhere. They try to get your attention while while you walk through town, dinner time at your door and charity begs cash off you while you watch the telly.   You probably didn't give your bank details or a couple of quid a month to yet another worthy cause trying to take our hard earned money, and you suspect not many people do. I almost become one of those people you dread seeing, I went for a two day interview with a company who are experts in getting your cash.

I walk into a grotty office in a back street with a bunch of young smiley hopefuls. The text tells me it's a casual interview, and the kid conducting it is wearing shorts so far down his bum I want to yank them up. I don't feel so bad about wearing a casual dress and trainers. We are asked to sell another hopeful for the job; we have a shy Northerner, kids desperate to work between travels, a quiet student and I'm paired up with a bubbly, ex bar manager complete with trendy glasses and dangerously short dress. She's easy to be be kind about, as she has a bit of sparkle  she is also obviously capable and very bright. We also have to think of a problem and solution and persuade the group it's a good idea. Being a compulsive talker and able to fake confidence, I am told I have the job.

So leaving my kids home alone (always dangerous) I go to my first day at work. The day is part of the interview. We are asked to draw a pig, being slightly arty I enjoy drawing an alarmingly manic looking pig with landscape and flowers. A shifty looking man scribbles his out and is asked to leave, I wonder if his refusal to draw a pig was why.

Apparently my wacky offering full of detail says I'm suspicious but realistic,  the dodgy psychology might have a point.  After having our art and personalities analysed  we are given a script and get a long explanation from the serious but entertaining manager. The script a hefty document . The script is cleverly written to push emotional buttons, start conversation and get the bank details, I'm impressed, I want to try this. The manager is also impressive, he holds our attention, and has great social skills and lots of charisma. I write on the script you have to give your heart, soul and liver. Now I've had tough sales jobs and I have given my smile, been entertaining and given my time and energy to a job, but my heart, that's mine.

The next day we learn the script and meet some employees. Then I recognize a familiar breed to me, the double glazing salesman, Now you might not like these chancres but as characters they are charismatic. They socialize, drink like fish and still get results get result shine. The typical double glazing salesman is they always happy and upbeat, they have a great work ethic and will sell anything asked.

I used to sit in an office and ring 200 people who didn't want to listen to me, my job was to get them to love me; I  wonder now longer in the tooth, with less energy and more cynicism I can pull this act off again. I suspect the pretty young drama student I'm paired with could pull this off, she reads the script like she owns it, is sincere yet cheerful and very credible, this acting part may earn her commission and get her face on the wall with all the other high earning stars.

I talk to some other employees, worried about spending late nights away from my kids. One tells me he rarely gets home before 10.30 and people knock on doors 100's of miles away. I realize this employer wants you to be married to this dicey living. It's a mix of idealism and cut throat sales I'm Not sure I can stomach. so I decide not to take the job.

The mix of sales and charity makes us all a little uncomfortable but this mix does save lives as well as give some people with great sales an interpersonal skills a living. The interview itself made me feel cheated.I wonder the two days was another script to persuade us to do a very difficult job and be at the offices beck and call. Maybe, like my drawing of the pig said I'm suspicious and realistic.

Before you turn another charity away, think about this, essential services depend on people generosity and people shoehorning cash out of us, is that right? According to this article in the(1) "The Third Sector " lots of us are very generous with 51% of Brits thing we should at least try to give time or money so maybe we need these bubbly hardworking people to persuade us to carry out our good intentions. Another point, it's the generous that give not those best able to give, so why can't money for people to die of cancer at home or help the homeless come from out taxes? So don't curse the next "chugger", do something, they have a difficult job, do something.
(1) http://www.thirdsector.co.uk/go/volunteering/article/1211740/nine-per-cent-uk-population-give-charity-says-charities-aid-foundation/

Background reading http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1356667

Life Belowthe Breadline

The poorest people in Exeter are being charged council tax, they are being charged around £15 to £20 a month. This is causing real hardship for lots of people who were already struggling. Foodbanks have been busier than ever 3000 people have used the foodbank this year compared to 1500 last year; the new charges came this year so these figures are probably not a coincidence.

To many this feels like Unemployed e yet another attack on the poor, the poor are real people who struggle and occasionally go hungry. £71 50 a week is very little to live on, it’s enough to barely scrape by on. Food is getting more expensive, even rice has gone up by 81% many people are going without fruit and vegetables and buying tinned food, this is a terrible time to be making people poorer. £4.00 or 5 a week sounds like very little but when your on the value breadline it could be the difference between eating and starving.

The council did have a conscience about these new changes, they asked the unemployed to give their opinion and fill out questionnaires. This was a pointless exorcise as the charges happened anyway, a little therapy before taking food out of peoples mouths. 

Rabble, your new magazine.

Hello.

Exsugarbabe here the, original Rabble mum.

I want to launch a new magazine written by mums and families for mums and families. As part of my college course I studied women's magazines, what did I find, nothing for me. You can have the voyeuristic pleasure of hearing about rape and torture with no background or even helpline or read body obsessed trash and feel like to really need a diet, fake tan and perfect wedding, (see "why I hate closer"). There is also a Tory, Daily Mail mentality in many women's magazine nestled between celebs and fake tan, let's put across different points of view.

I decided I could do better, so with your help that's what I want to do. We all have our stories and opinions about family life; here is the place to shout them. The news is full of stories about families right now with debates about benefits and single mums, please shout your opinion.

I asked so friends to write for mend some didn't have the confidence, this is why I would like to start a  Rabble mum community; a community would be a chance to share our skills, If you are a writer or blogger already please get in contact. I hope this extends to friendships, parenthood can be lonely and frustrating; let's make it a bit easier for each other.

Tweet me @Exsugarbabe
Email Rabblemum23@gmail.com

Rabblemum23@gmail.com

Why we can do better than "Closer"

Every single mum I know buys Closer magazine, in moments of weakness I buy it too; then I am disappointed. I try to enjoy the look of the magazine but the colours look like Barbie's dream house, neon pinks and orange is punctuated with blues and greens, why? The layout should have a migraine warning, it's messy and chaotic, no tasteful colours anchor the look. Pastel colours mix with brights in perfect disharmony. I may be a cash poor single mum but I aspire to look good, up to date not cheap and cheerful, I would like a magazine that did the same not a Barbie car crash. The pictures are not great there is almost as much female flesh on show as a lads mag. These pictures are aimed to sell the magazine and don't care how they do it; this must be how there is a small picture of a 26 stone glamour model, like rubbernecking at a disaster, I have to look but don't know why. We can fast our eyes on some nudists and the latest episode of the Lindsy Lohan hyper reality show with Lindsy looking nasty. The main pictures are for celebs, it's the usual gossip fodder, Sarah Harding from Girls Aloud (when was the last time you heard her sing) "in love", Jordan talking about her toyboy and Peaches Geldof looking skinny and pregnant. The icing on the cake is "CBBs Gillian" wearing very little and being shocked she looks sexy at 57, wow, I thought we all turned into toothless, wrinkled old hags at 40.

As you delve into the magazine things get worse, delve is the word when you see a story of a woman who is having a baby by her own father; now this is alright for a juicy read but too many stories like this just leave a nasty taste in my mouth, I don’t need to know. The magazine as a whole has a teenage, immature body obsession, naked bodies on cover, from skinny to freakishly obese to encouraging women to obsess over our own bodies in "Closer diets". Some is good advice, advice on health is welcome but there is proof magazines body obsessions do harm, these magazines, "In terms of body image, the media bombards the young girls’ minds with images of skinny models. This makes them feel that if they are a few pounds heavier than these images on the magazine then they are unacceptable to the society." Mothers and daughters may share these magazines and share the pain they are not as slim as Peaches Geldof or beat themselves up over the odd bag of chips. Diet advice should not come with trash about bodies.

The woman with the 26 stone body is interviewed. As if we didn’t know the article points out becoming 26 stone is bad for your health. There is a moral tone to the article, it’s littered with "she boasts" and "shockingly", it tells the reader what to think. Personally I find the tone patronising, I know getting to 26 stone is bad for your health and I am already shocked. You could argue that this is "fun", we all like the bizarre and being a single mum can turn your mind to mush, after helping with homework, cleaning the house and a mind bending day at work who wants to read anything taxing? I don’t think these stories are harmless fun, I believe this is part of objectification of women; treating women as objects and not people with thoughts, intelligence and feelings. By showing this woman as an object readers look at this woman as an object, they can laugh at her and declare, hurry, I’m not that fat, this behaviour is a short term happy buzz but like a cheap bar of chocolate makes us feel a bit guilty and sick later.

Closer has lots to say about single mums, this addition was free of them but last Christmas they reported on a single mum who was very generous with her kids for Christmas, in fact she spent 2 000 pound on them. Again Closer speaks about this in it’s usual moral tone, the headline says "Merry Christmas Tax Payers". As a single mum I have never spent this much cash on my kids, nor has any other single mum I know, thus girl is either borrowing money or has great money managing skills. Single mums can scoff over this girl and gossip but how about looking at how to make Christmas cheaper for the rest of us who have to break it to their kids Father Chirstmas might no be too generous this Christmas.

In Barbie car crash colours we hear about Barbie car crash lives. We can hear about Danii Minouge and her love life, the Kardashian’s and the queen of the plastic women, Jordon and her love life. This is all a light hearted read but there are so many celeb magazines out there, just go to your local newsagents and the covers are interchangeable.

These magazines sell, is it because it’s all that’s there, is everyone who reads them interested? I imagine the zombies like me after a cheap treat.Maybe it’s even time our weekly treat got political and a little bit rebellious. Lives for singlneg mums are about to get harder, the BBC website pointed out "Save the Children says its research suggests 150,000 women could lose up o £68 a week when the new universal credit takes effect next year." There are other people who feel the same, I asked if anyone hated women’s magazines on my Twitter feed and "Sister Trinity" said "Because they brainwash girls/women to buy into patriarchal & corporate interests, destroy themselves, spend money, waste time." Nasty, bitchy, intelligent and true.

　








　

We are meeting in real life!

So far there have been two Rabble mum meetings. There is an idea to write about John Lewis brewing; we talked about single parenthood and teen mums. Please come for some intelligent chat and the satisfaction of seeing your name in print. For anybody who can't make the meetings please e mail me blogs.

What do we want?

I studied women's magazines at college and found them lacking. There is little humour, two much beauty and clothes and conservative views, so we need to make something different; so, no beauty, no celebs, no tragic tales without some background information. Anything else will be considered so please get blogging. 

Email your blogs to rabblemum23@gmail.com

Oblivion Film Review

Oblivion, escapism in a baron land. 

Oblivion takes place in a post apocalyptic earth, this is a visual treat; in this earth nothing is not quite what what seems. Tom Cruise plays our hero Jack and he is kept in line by Victoria played by the blandly beautiful Andrea Riseborough who stays at home so our hero can go out and rape and pillage the ruined earth further for electricity; she also keeps him from breaking the all important protocol.   

Nothing quite adds up on earth, humans won the war for earth but no humans live there, earth is supposed to be a baron place yet parts are as beautiful and lush as they were before the war. As this strangely old fashioned story unfolds questions are answered. Our rebel hero Jack finds a band of colorful, resourceful renegades to answer all his  questions. A better little woman literally crashes into his life and our man is motivated by the love of a good woman, she again stays at home while our hero goes off and does man stuff. This film might have an amazing futuristic pods for our characters to live in, fabulous bubble spaceships and pods but gender roles have not moved on from the 70s.

The 70s inspired this films look as well as it's gender politics. Oblivion has a sparse but spectacular feel. Oblivion has a lot in conman with Steven  Speilburg movies. The vision of a wreaked earth pulls the audience right in, it's a lonely place but you want to get hold of one of the bubble space ships  and explore an earth without barriers. This almost makes up for the story, a pick and mix of ideas and stories too easily recognizable, these range from The Bible to The Matrix, this story is based on a series of unpublished comics, on the printed page the story wouldn't add up quite well enough. There is a charming, romantic fairy tale aspect to this story that makes this film a bit more watchable.

This is a film for the geeks, a comfortable story, great technology and our hero. Find the nearest tweenage boy to take along with you, he will recognize his comic and X box game collection. Just don't forget  to tell him girls can shoot aliens, drive spaceships and save the world too.